They Do Have Redeeming Qualities.

I spent the afternoon making fig cookies and resisting the demands of the small people to enlist me in their games.

This is exceedingly difficult, as they employ a technique known as "Purposeful Obtuseness." No matter what I say, they continue to behave as if I have agreed to participate, though I most vocally have NOT.

They think that eventually my determination will erode.

They are correct.

And what was my reward? I was led by a trail of clues to a couple of statues posed flanking a bowl of yogurt pretzels. They were labeled "Jacob" and "Jamey," and there was a sign in front of the pretzels saying "WE LOVE YOU!" Then the statues magically came to life and hugged me. I was informed that this was a but a small token of their appreciation.

That'll teach me. Next time I'm giving in quicker.