Why It Sucks When Your Kid Can Read

You can no longer lie about what's on TV, because he can read the listing.

You can no longer reduce the number of choices on the children's menu, because he knows what aaaall the choices are.

You can't read your favorite website, because it's a bunch of mommies who swear like longshoremen (and with stunning descriptive capabilities!) and you're just not up to explaining what a jizzhoor might be.

You have to explain why that man has a "Homeless, please help" sign and why we're not going to ask him to come and live with us. (This conversation made me cry. A lot.)

You can't watch TV on low with the captions on when you're trying to get them to sleep.

You have a brand new back seat driver. "Mommy! That sign said "Airport," isn't that what you were looking for?"

You can't skip ANY of the pages in a book.

This sucks. In an O-Lan "Oh, no, it's only a sickly girl and covered with sores" kind of way.

Ten bucks to anyone who gets what I meant by that. David is forbidden to enter. Otoh, it would keep the money in the family ... so ... think, Dave, THINK!